$$$ Madoff Family Jewels [New Yorker]

$$$ Bernie Madoff Loves Bernie Madoff [Daily Intel]

Sent: Tue Jan 06 15:05:07 2009

Subject: Dan Sontag Named Head of Merrill Lynch Global Wealth Management

A message from John Thain, president of Global Banking, Securities & Wealth Management:

Dan Sontag Named Head of Merrill Lynch Global Wealth Management

Dear Colleagues:

Bank of America Corp named Dan Sontag head of Merrill Lynch Global Wealth Management, its retail brokerage unit, according to an internal memo obtained by Reuters, filling a spot vacated by the recent departure of Bob McCann.

Way to integrate, Dan! Culture clash my ass! We know the transition from "Wealth Management," and those upscale clients into the depths of $20 fee rebates, free calendars with every new checking account and a Toaster if you maintain a minimum balance of $2,500 for six months is going to be a snap!

Earlier: John Thain's Farewell To Bob McCann: Did He Really Use The Word "Enrich"?

Merrill's Sontag named head of retail brokerage [Reuters]

One has to enjoy the swath of asset freezings that have followed the Made-off scandal. When you are reduced, for example, to mailing $1 million in jewelry and other personal effects (mittens!) then you just know the sting is painful.

This, combined with the current rumor that there is something like $850 million in assets floating around for the victims of Made-off makes for wonderful third row viewing. Pass the popcorn!

N.Y.judge restrains Merkin funds in Madoff lawsuit [The Guardian]

Viking Global Equities III Ltd.:

But it warmed our hearts of stone and souls as black as night to hear that there's a least one person who can not only stand the himbos' favorite pastime, but relate to it. Andy's new girlfriend, Catherine Hooper (she of possible ass tattoo fame). The Bryn Mawr alum wrote of her passion in the college magazine several years back:

Felipe and I walked for hours across miles of beach, scanning the water from behind polarized lenses for any flicker of silver tail against the myriad shining glints on the water's surface. We caught Spanish mackerel in the afternoons when the bonefish seemed to disappear and ate our picnic lunches on the deck of our boat or in little abandoned fishermen's shacks. When I left a week later, I watched from the plane window as Los Roques became smaller and bluer. The wave motion froze as the plane gained altitude.

Things at home were a little different after I returned. My husband grew sick of my talking about fishing and would leave the room if I began. To anyone who would look, I showed my fishing pictures, which consisted of 1. Me holding a fish, 2. Me holding a fish, 3. Me holding--you get the idea.

A match made in heaven. (And let's not forget the Bob Rubin connection, and assume that surely he too is obsessed with being photographed holding something slimy in his hands. Threesome?) More pics of Hooper doing you know what after the jump.

**He originally nominated Purcell for Wachovia, but we're told the Phil-ster is Bove's default pick for CEO of any firm, when asked.

That was very naughty whichever Dealbreaker reader did that. Bad reader. No bone.

9:27 am Steve did not die.

9:27 am Retraction on Steve Jobs comment...we don't know how that got in our feed.

9:26 am Showing a "pumpkin patch" event with no geotag. Starts typing name, and iPhoto assists using its database of locations.

9:25 am Hovering over a pin at Aspen. Click an arrow and go straight to all Aspen photos, even across multiple events.

9:24 am STEVE JOBS JUST DIED :

9:24 am Now demoing Places.

9:24 am Can also group people in sidebar...smart albums. Showing "Our Family"...automatically contains and updates all members of the family.

Macworld San Francisco 2009 Keynote Live Coverage [MacRumors]

Subject: Bob McCann to Leave the Firm

A message from John Thain, president of Global Banking, Securities & Wealth Management: Bob McCann to Leave the Firm

Dear Colleagues:

A brief family statement Tuesday did not give details on the circumstances of the 74-year-old's death. It said the problems his holdings suffered due to the financial crisis ''broke'' him and ''he ended his life.''

That's a pity.

German Billionaire Adolf Merckle Commits Suicide [The New York Times]

Ouch.

HeidelbergCement falls on report Merckle dead [The Guardian]

Update: There are some reports that Merckle actually threw himself in front of the train. Double ouch. I hope he wasn't a Made-off victim.