Three GCs were on the panel: Seth Krauss of Take-Two Interactive Software, Inc.; Dawson Horn III of Tyco International; and Jonathan Broder of Conrail. Conrail is, of course, the railroad company. Take-Two is a software and video game company, of Grand Theft Auto fame. Tyco is a well-known manufacturing company, of shower curtain scandal fame.

They provided some insight into the in-house world and what they look for when they hire outside counsel. ""We're instruction-rich and cash-poor," said one.

They offered advice to partners and lawyers who want their business. "Know something about me," said Horn. In other words, Google him. And: "Believe in the cause," he added.

That's rather vague. More specific instructions for getting hired by a general counsel, and some advice for fellow GCs, after the jump.

So there's big pressure to keep their spending down. A colleague recommended Horn encourage Tyco to think of his department as a "value center," but he scoffed at that.

He said that Tyco has memos of understanding with many firms, and typically uses three different models of payment: fixed fee, contingency fee, and success fee. He advised that fellow GCs talk closely with the business side of their company when structuring arrangements, so the biz folks know what bills to expect.

Horn presented a "hypothetical" of a victory in a matter that winds up displeasing the biz side, as they weren't aware of a contingency fee to be paid.

When asked about trends they're seeing in the industry, Take Two's Krauss said that plaintiffs are making more reasonable demands. "People don't see corporations as blank checks anymore," he said. "If you don't make me spend a lot of money on e-discovery, I have a little bit more for settlement payout."

Krauss's budget for outside counsel is $30 million. When he first started at Take Two, the company was using 70 outside law firms. He shaved that down to 20. He likes having one firm per practice area (immigration, employment, etc.), but a roster of firms for litigation, expecting some to be conflicted out on certain cases.

These days, how a firm bills is important. If a firm can't conform with the software that companies use for billing purposes -- C2 for Take-Two -- it's a deal breaker, and they won't hire the firm. "Technology matters," said Krauss.

Horn outlined what matters to him in hiring a firm. It doesn't just come down to who's cheapest. Broder and Krauss nodded vigorously at this. Horn said he thinks about a firm's history working for him, and their performance in these areas:

These factors "often outweigh being inexpensive in searching out outside counsel," said Horn.

All the GCs said that it's "happening less often that you just go to a big, well-known firm and pay big hourly rates."

We submitted absentee bids on the following:

• lot 1, Pale Orange Begonia (we bid $500; it sold for $1,159);
• lot 2, Glass of Water (we bid $500; it sold for $671);
• lot 99, Lover of Time (we bid $800; it sold for $1,830);
• lot 210, Bonsai and Bicycle (we bid $1,000; it sold for $4,575); and
• lot 290, Return of the Rice Cooker (we bid $2,000; it sold for $5,185).

All of the items we bid on went for well above their high estimates -- bad news for us, but good news for Heller creditors.

So, how much dinero did the auction generate in total?

Here's a press release from Bonhams, the auction house charged with disposing of the Heller Ehrman artworks.

Heller Ehrman LLP Art Collection Doubles Expectations at Auction Monday at Bonhams & Butterfields in San Francisco

Bonhams & Butterfields' standing-room-only auction today of artworks from the international law offices of Heller Ehrman LLP resulted in stellar results for 340 lots offered -- the auction garnered more than $572,000, with nearly all of the sculpture, paintings and photography finding buyers. Top sellers in Monday's sale include hand-blown glass by Dale Chihuly and oil paintings by artist Michael Gregory.

Heller Ehrman LLP, the 118-year-old international law firm founded and headquartered in San Francisco, closed its doors in September of 2008. The works offered in this sale were collected over many decades and decorated offices and public spaces within the firm's locations across the globe.

"Today's sale saw highly competitive bidding," says Martin Gammon, Director of Business Development at Bonhams & Butterfields, " with as many as 350 clients old and new registering to participate in the sale from international locations."

More than $50,000 was paid today for six lots of art glass crafted by the Seattle-based master Dale Chihuly (American, born 1941). Bidding was highly competitive for these fragile and beautiful sculptural glass works, including $14,640 (tripling the estimate) paid for an example from his 1992 "Persian" series and $11,560 paid for a two-piece set titled Radiant Persian Pair, from 2003. Also exceeding its expectation was Chihuly's glass work Macchia, 1986, which brought $9,150.

Strong interest from collectors, members of the trade and other law firms was seen for several works by the American artist Michael Gregory (born 1955). His landscape Latah, 2002, an oil on panel depicting the façade of a barn under a dark forbidding sky, brought more than ten times its estimate, selling for $17,080. Another painting featuring a dramatic colorful landscape by Gregory, A Lambent Light, 1989, an oil and tar on panel, brought $8,540, also ten times the pre-sale expectation.

A collector paid $13,420 for an acrylic on canvas by Roland Kulla titled Steel, 2004 (est. $2/4,000) while two works in acrylic on plastic panels by the American artist Peter Waite also exceeded estimates. Waite's six-panel 1990 work Corridor sold for $10,980 and Kew, completed in 1991, also acrylic on a six panels of plastic, tripled its estimate to bring $6,710.

Competitive bidding was seen for several lots of sculpture. A collector paid $14,640 for Composition in Black Spanish Marble No 1 by Gidon Graetz (Swiss, born 1929) while an impressive 40-inch high wood sculpture by the British artist David Nash, titled Rip Cut Stack, brought $12,200 (est. $5/7,000).

Many of the artists represented in the sale had never been featured in a major art auction, establishing auction records likely to increase their appearances on the global fine art auction stage.

The select first installment of art work from the Heller Ehrman collection came to auction in November 2009 at the Bonhams New York salesroom. Strong prices were realized for several Robert Kelly oils from the artist's 2006 "Assemblage Rouge" series, and prices also exceeded estimates for oils, a bronze, and several works on paper by other artists. The remaining art from the firm's collection is being offered in a series of upcoming Bonhams sales in the spring of 2010 -- including Prints (May 4th), Photographs (May 18th), and the auctioneer's "Made in California: Contemporary Art" (May 3rd) auctions to be simulcast between the Los Angeles and San Francisco salesrooms.

Prices realized in Monday's auction will remain online with the illustrated catalog at www.bonhams.com/us.

Earlier: Heller Ehrman Art To Be Auctioned Off Today
ATL Field Trip: The Heller Ehrman Art Auction
Anatomy of a Dissolution: The Heller Art Auction

Now, months after the initial, embarrassing incident, Macy's is doing it again. Missouri Lawyers Weekly reports (subscription):

Sensitive Macy's records have again been littering the sidewalks of downtown St. Louis.

The records, meant for disposal, included shoppers' Social Security numbers, employees' expense reports, memos from the department store's attorneys and even a letter from a distressed aunt about a foul-mouthed Santa Claus.

Macy's -- and Federated Department Stores, which owns Macy's -- has had months to fix this obvious problem. Their solution? Wait for it... buy lids for the streetside containers!

Details on this clever plan after the jump.

Missouri Lawyers Weekly reported on Macy's earlier housecleaning in October after company documents were placed in open bins on the sidewalk behind the office and some blew around city streets.

Richard Cohen, group vice-president in Macy's law department in St. Louis, said at the time that if he had it to do over again, the bins would have lids.

The company did do it over again. And this time the 13 bins did have lids.

I'm not a naturalist, but hasn't our sophisticated lid technology already been bested by the cunning raccoon and the powerful bear? It just seems that if a fox could gain access to Macy's documents, then a creature with opposable thumbs is going to have a field day:

The unlocked lids weren't enough, however, to keep someone from grabbing armfuls of the documents to make a bed, which was partially covered with blankets and liberally scented with urine. A reporter plucked a half-foot high stack of old documents from the reams on the pavement when the bed's occupant was absent.

Among the items was a tax form filled out by Pamela Smith Pobst, who in 1995 won a $10,000 shopping spree at a Famous-Barr department store.

Last week, the tax form she filled out when she claimed her prize -- complete with her Social Security number -- was part of the makeshift bed half a block from Macy's Inc.'s downtown St. Louis offices.

I wonder if this kind of document security incompetence is Macy's way of advertising openings in its in-house legal department. I'm pretty sure that even a lawyer with an online law degree could advise Macy's to buy a freaking shredder.

Privacy problems persist [Missouri Lawyers Weekly] (subscription)

At the time, we asked:

Is there an epidemic of vulgarity at Northwestern that the SBA is desperately trying to stop?

Apparently so. The school is gearing up for its Barristers' Ball, and students are offended by language all over again.

The vulgar words this time?

An email went out announcing tickets going on sale and revealing the nominees for king and queen. Among the five nominees for king was one female 3L, and among the five nominees for queen was one male 2L. Oh those quirky Northwestern kids, turning gender expectations on their head!

The Ball organizers specified that the prospective female king and male queen "have pledged to wear the dress appropriate for their elected position."

That's when the PC police sirens started going off. Here's the list-serv exchange -- subject line: [BARRISTER'S BALL] King and Queen Nominees!!! -- with real names replaced by pseudonyms:

I'm as excited as anyone to see MALE QUEEN WILDCAT in a dress (and FEMALE KING WILDCAT in a tux, for that matter - RAWR), but why do we feel the need to assign gender-normative "appropriate dress" requirements to the positions of King and Queen? If a Queen wants to wear a suit and a King wants to wear a dress, or if either of them wants to wear footie pajamas or saran wrap or a t-shirt and jeans, who are we to tell them they should not?

-- ANTI-GENDER-NORMATIVE WILDCAT

---

We don't know if anybody told them they should not. All we know is they pledged to, which they may have done voluntarily.

+1 on being excited to see MALE QUEEN WILDCAT in a dress.

-- LITERAL WILDCAT

---

+5 on being excited to see FEMALE KING WILDCAT in saran wrap.

-- LASCIVIOUS WILDCAT

---

If they didn't we wouldn't know who was the King and who was the Queen.

-- COMMON SENSE WILDCAT

---

LITERAL WILDCAT, I don't think ANTI-GENDER-NORMATIVE WILDCAT was claiming that someone told them they must wear a specific outfit. The issue was the e-mail referring to what is "appropriate" dress for the King or Queen position.

-- HELPFUL WILDCAT

---

But it was presented as a "requirement," which it doesn't appear to be. As for the issue of what is "appropriate," it seems contradictory to have a formal event without some expectation of formality.

-- LITERAL WILDCAT

---

COMMON SENSE WILDCAT, what does distinguishing b/w King and Queen by gendering their dress accomplish? Doesn't it just help people sleep at night by reinforcing a gender binary so their own gender identities aren't threatened? As long as what the royals wear is formal, as LITERAL WILDCAT points out (so I guess I have to nix the saran wrap comment), we have no right to say that they should wear something that helps US put them into more convenient categories.

-- ANTI-GENDER-NORMATIVE WILDCAT

---

Well how would we know someone is a police officer if he doesn't wear a uniform or have a badge?

Similarly, how would I know FEMALE KING WILDCAT is the King if she's dressed like the Queen?

-- COMMON SENSE WILDCAT

---

The saran wrap comment was a little ray of sunshine in an otherwise gloomy day; can we please not nix it?

-- HORNY WILDCAT

---

Because MALE QUEEN WILDCAT will be wearing the tiara?

-- PRO-TIARA WILDCAT

---

Are you saying you wouldn't know your wife was a woman if she didn't wear a skirt?

-- ANTI-GENDER-NORMATIVE WILDCAT

---

SPAM. Annoying debates.

-- I-WISH-I-WENT-TO-CHICAGO WILDCAT

---

Optimal (non-gendered) solution?

-- I-KNOW-I-SHOULD-LET-THIS-THREAD-DIE-BUT-I-SEE-OPPORTUNITY-FOR-SNUGGIE-JOKE-AND-I-CAN'T-PASS-IT-UP WILDCAT

---

I would know FEMALE KING WILDCAT's a woman, but I wouldn't know she's the King.

-- COMMON SENSE WILDCAT

---

Sigh. And why, perchance, is it of utmost importance that *you* to be able to identify someone by gender, sex, or other characteristic?

I vote we all wear saran wrap. And Tore, with enough layers, especially of the colored variety, you really can't see anything untoward.

-- ANTI-GENDER-NORMATIVE WILDCAT

---

I can't believe I need to explain to you why it is important to be able to identify things or people.

-- COMMON SENSE WILDCAT

---

In this case, won't we know who is the king and who is the queen because they will announce it? Otherwise it wouldn't matter what people wore, because everyone in "appropriate" attire could claim to be the king or the queen. I'll know who is who because someone in SFPIF will announce who has won king and who has won queen. I will believe whatever the SFPIF authority tells me (general policy for me!).

-- I-HAVE-A-FRESH-NEW-ANGLE WILDCAT

---

On the contrary, I would think that dressing a biological female in male gendered attire, and a biological male in female gendered attire, would be more threatening to traditional binary conceptions of gender and gendered attire is being disregarded in favor of a traditional conception of kingly and queenly attire; yet that does nothing to help reinforce my gender identity. Perhaps, in true fidelity to erasing gender roles, we shouldn't have Barrister Ball Kings and Queens at all!

-- I-HAVE-AN-EVEN-FRESHER-NEW-ANGLE WILDCAT

Amen.

Many of you will likely think that this post has dubious news value. We like to think of it as a public service announcement. Please pass along to friends who are considering applying to law school.

Earlier: The PC Police Ride Strong at Northwestern
Northwestern SBA Stays Silent, Others Plan Coup

Former Villanova lacrosse captain Eddie DiDonato has cleared all serious life-threatening obstacles and has been taken off his ventilator following a ninth operation 17 days after being shot six times in an Old City altercation, according to his best friend.

DiDonato, a La Salle College High graduate, remains in the Intensive Care Unit and according to Thomas Jefferson University Hospital officials is still listed in fair condition.

Rob Forster, who has served as the DiDonato family spokesman, said his former teammate on the Explorers' 2004 state championship team has continued to amaze doctors as well as family and friends with his resiliency. DiDonato was near death after the shootings early on Jan. 17 and survived a major scare 10 days ago when his condition became grave due to an infection.

We're glad to hear about DiDonato's improved state. We will keep you posted on his condition.

Meanwhile, a legal defense fund has been set up for the accused shooter, law student Gerald Ung.

The event is scheduled to run until 3 a.m. We'd suggest that you leave well before that. And be sure to leave your firearms at home.

Former Villanova Captain DiDonato Continues to Improve [Lacrosse News]
The Gerald Ung Legal Defense Fund, Inc. [official website]

Earlier: Some Updates on the Temple Law Student Shooter
The Temple Law Student Shooter: Questions Abound
Temple Third-Year Law Student Suspected in Shooting

Calling the $300 million jury verdict "excessive" and "shocking," Judge Jeffrey Streitfeld said he would determine a lower award later against tobacco giant Philip Morris USA. He gave no indication when he would rule.

The landmark verdict was reached in November for Cindy Naugle, an emphysema patient who quit smoking in 1993.

There are few things that bother me more than smokers blaming tobacco companies for becoming addicted to their products. Does Philip Morris sell an illegal product? No. Do you need to be galactically stupid to smoke yet not know that smoking is dangerous? Yes. So what is the rationale for suing a company that produces a legal product you'd have to be epically dumb to not know is potentially dangerous?

As a smoker, I feel particularly qualified to say: it's not Philip Morris's fault if I get sick. It's my fault. I take personal responsibility for my own health choices.

Personal responsibility. Seems like a winning argument, doesn't it? Well, it's pretty much the argument pursued by Philip Morris's lawyers. And ... it horribly backfired.

Judge Streitfeld has decided to step in to correct the lawyers' mistake.

"I am absolutely persuaded there was a passion in this verdict that resulted in an excessive verdict," he said.

Streitfeld suggested the case offered "a lesson" for tobacco attorneys, whom he faulted for putting on a "blame the smoker" defense.

"It didn't work," he said. "It upset the jury."

Bah.

Obviously, Philip Morris was pretty happy:

Philip Morris attorney Andrew Brenner of Boies Schiller & Flexner in Miami called the award "a grossly excessive outlier."

It's great when a judge can step in and rectify a terrible defense strategy.

But it's sad that the "blame the smoker" strategy doesn't work. Half the fun of smoking is that it's cool. And cool people don't bitch and moan and whine about their own choices.

Smoker's $300 Million Award to Be Overturned [Daily Business Review]
Judge Plans to Trim $300M Verdict for Ex-Smoker, Says Tobacco Lawyers' Strategy Backfired [ABA Journal]

Earlier: Musical Chairs: Kirkland Litigation Partner David Bernick to Philip Morris

* Faegre & Benson partner Robert Matthews and his brother died in a small plane crash over the weekend. Matthews had a mid-air collision while piloting a Cirrus SR20 plane, also killing the other pilot. [Denver Business Journal via ABA Journal]

* NYU grad sues the university for revoking his MBA. [New York Post]

* Why do people pass along Internet links? The NYT says "awe." Judging from our traffic patterns, we'd add shock-and-awe as a secondary reason. [New York Times]

* Keeping the John Edwards sex tape on lockdown. [Raleigh News & Observer]

* The class-action lawsuit headed by former UCLA basketball star Ed O'Bannon against the NCAA can proceed. College athletes are one step closer to compensation for the use of their images and likenesses in television advertisements, video games and on apparel. [New York Times]

* On Larry Lessig, copyrights, and remixing, to the tune of Lisztomania.... [Julian Sanchez]

* Which is not our favorite Phoenix song. Our favorite after the jump...

Phoenix - 1901 - A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque on Vimeo.

But now that the cat has been let out of the bag -- or closet, as the case may be -- by the mainstream media, let's... go there. From the San Francisco Chronicle:

The biggest open secret in the landmark trial over same-sex marriage being heard in San Francisco is that the federal judge who will decide the case, Chief U.S. District Judge Vaughn Walker, is himself gay.

Many gay politicians in San Francisco and lawyers who have had dealings with Walker say the 65-year-old jurist, appointed to the bench by President George H.W. Bush in 1989, has never taken pains to disguise -- or advertise -- his orientation.

Shocking? Not exactly. Judge Walker is a professionally successful white male, with great job security and a six-figure income, who's in his sixties -- and has never been married. A confirmed bachelor, if you will. Who lives in San Francisco. Umm, yeah.

(On the other hand, we hear His Honor's favorite drink is a Maker's Mark Manhattan -- a fairly butch beverage, despite the maraschino cherry. We'll stick with our cosmos, thank you very much.)

So this brings us to the question that Ashby Jones posed over at the WSJ Law Blog earlier today: If Judge Walker is gay, what should we make of that fact?

Walker has declined to talk about anything involving the Prop. 8 case outside court, and he wouldn't comment to us when we asked about his orientation and whether it was relevant to the lawsuit.

Many San Francisco gays still hold Walker in contempt for a case he took when he was a private attorney, when he represented the U.S. Olympic Committee in a successful bid to keep San Francisco's Gay Olympics from infringing on its name.

"Life is full of irony," the judge replied when we reminded him about that episode.

Alanis Morissette concurs. And that sure sounds like an admission by Judge Walker that he's a friend of Dorothy, doesn't it? He's not exactly denying it. When the Chronicle asked him if he had "any concerns about being characterized as gay," the judge answered with "no comment."

We reached out to law professor Arthur Leonard, an expert on the federal courts and LGBT rights, for some insight into the situation. Professor Leonard seemed to view Judge Walker's potential proclivities as a non-issue.

"[E]verybody whose opinion was canvassed by the Chronicle agreed that Judge Walker's sexual orientation was essentially irrelevant to his being the judge on this case," said Professor Leonard. "He's respected as a very professional, impartial judge."

Very true. We've heard nothing about Judge Walker as a jurist that would call into question his impartiality in this case. We've also heard many positive comments about his intellect -- note his probing, smart questions during the Prop 8 trial -- and his work ethic. For example, Judge Walker often works on the weekends (unlike many other federal judges, who take advantage of life tenure to slack off a bit).

In other words, just because Judge Walker likes to s some d might be gay in no way precludes him from ruling impartially in a gay marriage case. In fact, wondering whether a gay judge might be biased in a gay marriage case is arguably reflective of bias.

"[T]here is a tendency to think that only members of minorities are 'biased' about cases involving their issues," said Professor Leonard. "It's the majority-centric way of seeing things, that assumes that straight white males are, of course, neutral, while everybody else has a point of view. But everybody has a point of view on most issues, and the job for the judge is to separate out his or her personal views from his or her professional role and to strive to take an 'objective' approach to deciding the legal issues in the case."

An ATL commenter on Morning Docket, where we previously linked to the Chronicle article, made a similar point: "I would have just as much of an issue if a heterosexual judge were hearing the Proposition 8 trial... and that is to say, none at all."

But there is certainly room for disagreement here. Some other possible perspectives:

• Judge Walker, if he is in fact gay, will be predisposed to strike down Proposition 8's ban on same-sex marriage. His ruling, tainted by bias, will be illegitimate.

• Judge Walker, if he is in fact gay, will "overcompensate" for his sexual orientation and uphold Prop 8. (Note his prior work, back when he was in private practice at Pillsbury Madison & Sutro (now Pillsbury Winthrop), against the Gay Olympics.)

• Even if his orientation won't affect his ruling, it does create a perception issue. From an ATL commenter: "The judge is gay? That's a lose-lose situation for the gay marriage people. If he rules it unconstitutional, opponents will say it's a biased outcome. If he rules it constitutional, opponents will say 'even a gay judge doesn't think your position is valid.'"

• Judge Walker's orientation really doesn't matter, since nobody thinks this case will be settled at the trial level anyway -- it's going up to the Ninth Circuit, and possibly up to the U.S. Supreme Court.

(That last point may be something of an overstatement. Even if the case ends up being resolved by a higher court, it will be resolved based on a trial record that was crafted by Judge Walker.)

These are just a few possible positions to take on the issue. What do you think? Take our poll, and discuss in the comments.

P.S. As far as we know, Judge Deborah Batts (S.D.N.Y.) is the only openly gay federal judge. Feel free to let us know about other gay federal judges, closeted or not, by email (subject line: "Gay Judge").

UPDATE: There could be a second openly gay judge on the bench in the near future. Senator Chuck Schumer (D-NY) has recommended that President Obama nominate Daniel Alter, an openly gay man, to the Southern District of New York.

Judge Being Gay a Nonissue During Prop. 8 Trial [San Francisco Chronicle]
Prop. 8 Judge is Reportedly Gay: What to Make of That? [WSJ Law Blog]

* If there was an Alabama version of the Jersey Shore, this guy would be on it. [BL1Y]

* People in D.C. are really freaked out by all the snow. I'm trying to think of a naturally occurring event that would have New Yorkers similarly discombobulated. [The BLT: Blog of the Legal Times]

* I hate having interviews or meetings at coffee places. But in general I hate the concept of a coffee house where people relax, pull out a laptop, and have conversations. That's what hookah bars are for. [Law.com]

* If the Bushidō code were still around today, wouldn't Akio Toyoda have to commit hara-kiri?
[Trial Warrior Blog via Blawg Review]

That's an attention-grabbing lede for a personal essay for a law school application. Or:

"The Supreme Court granted my very first petition for cert. And then ruled in my favor unanimously."

Shon Hopwood, 34, could start his application with either one of those statements. Convicted of five robberies in Nebraska in the late '90s, he was sentenced to prison for 13 years, writes Adam Liptak in the New York Times:

Mr. Hopwood spent much of that time in the prison law library, and it turned out he was better at understanding the law than breaking it. He transformed himself into something rare at the top levels of the American bar, and unheard of behind bars -- an accomplished Supreme Court practitioner.

Hopwood wrote a petition for cert for a fellow inmate, John Fellers, in 2002. Not only was it granted, veteran Supreme Court advocate Seth Waxman says, "It was probably one of the best cert. petitions I have ever read."

High praise for a dude who doesn't even have a law degree...

The former solicitor general showed the bank robber drafts of his briefs. The two men consulted about how to frame the arguments, discussed strategy and tried to anticipate questions from the justices.

Good thing Hopwood was safe in prison at the time. Many a WilmerHale junior associate would kill for the opportunity to work so closely with Waxman.

Things worked out well for them. The case was decided in favor of Fellers. The Court found that the police had crossed constitutional lines in questioning Fellers, and he ultimately had four years shaved off his sentence.

Hopwood got out of prison in 2008, after a few more successful turns as a jailhouse lawyer. For now, he's working for a printer of Supreme Court briefs. The employer was reluctant to hire a convicted felon, but Waxman vouched for him.

Next step? Drafting that personal essay:

Mr. Hopwood, who is 34, said he hopes to apply to law school next year. Richard Friedman, a law professor at the University of Michigan who worked with Mr. Hopwood on the briefs for a recent Supreme Court case, said that he has already talked to the admissions office there about saving a spot.

Guaranteed entrance to one of the country's top law schools? Being an apple in Waxman's eye? A successful cert. petition under his belt? An appreciation for Radiohead?

The future is looking shiny for Hopwood, as long as the bank robbery conviction is not a stumbling block on a future character and fitness test.

A Mediocre Criminal, but an Unmatched Jailhouse Lawyer [New York Times]

Oh yeah, and the New Orleans Saints won the Super Bowl. That warm fuzzy goodness you feel about the Saints winning for their city totally redeems every slightly annoying thing that happened last night.

The Saints get back to town tomorrow, and it should be obvious that the city will shut down to celebrate. And chances are, they'll not really be getting back to work until Ash Wednesday.

Tulane Law School knows that its students like to party. And the administration won't stand in the way. Tulane is shutting down tomorrow.

I just hope the Tulane Law students don't try to make off with the Lombardi Trophy.

Check out the beautiful message from Tulane's president after the jump. And Geaux Saints!

February 8, 2010

Dear Students,

There are certain moments in life that are transcendent and transformative and are too wonderful for words. Sunday's Super Bowl victory was such a moment. It was a victory that went far beyond football, highlights, statistics or trophies. This world championship, coupled with the election of a new mayor by an overwhelming majority, is about the progress and future of our beloved city.

This was a moment for all New Orleanians. The way this city and this team, our team, have embraced one another is unique in all the world. While most professional athletes discuss themselves and their gifts at post-game press conferences, our Saints invariably talk about their city and what its recovery has meant to them and to the nation.

This is what I believe we will be celebrating when we welcome our hometown heroes at tomorrow's parade. In addition, we will be congratulating our new mayor, Mitch Landrieu, as he leads us into the future. So in recognition of New Orleans, our recovery, our revival and the unity we displayed in one incredible weekend at the polls and on the national stage, I am going to close the university (uptown, downtown and primate center) tomorrow at 1 p.m.

This will allow all New Orleans-area Tulanians time to gather with family, friends and neighbors (are there any other categories of people in New Orleans?) and celebrate what is truly a historic moment in the long life and new life of our city. Enjoy the parade but most of all enjoy the moment. It truly is our time!

Geaux New Orleans,
Geaux Saints,
Geaux Tulane,

President Cowen

Earlier: Racist Tulane Law School Party? Ironic Tulane Law School Party? You Decide
Tulane Law School: Showing Mr. Rogers How They Roll In Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood

With all due respect to the good people at Case Western, Biglaw types have a hard time suspending their disbelief that even a fictional top law firm would grab an associate from the #55 ranked law school in the country.

But maybe, just maybe, the prestige-obsessed are wrong. Obviously, Clarence Thomas is happy to hire clerks without regard to their schools' positions on the U.S. News list. And it appears that the kids at Case Western play just as rough and dirty as anybody in the H-Y-S crowd. Check out this email to all Case Western Law faculty and students:

I am very sorry to report that someone has cut some class-related sections out of several copies of a library book. I am sure that the overwhelming majority of you don't need to be told that this behavior is unprofessional and unacceptable. It is also a serious violation of the law school code of conduct. This is a very unusual occurrence at our school, for which we should all be grateful. Nevertheless, even one such incident is too many.

Somebody at Case Western has read One L a few too many times.

But hey, if the school is being criticized on prestige grounds, maybe it's time for its students to take academic competition to the next level. Let's hear from some Case law students about this.

In fact, I thought this whole "ripping pages out of casebooks" thing was an urban legend, like black people who actually watch NASCAR.

But I'm not the only one who lost a little bit of innocence when I read this Case Western email. A tipster reports:

During my 1L year, my writing professor used to tell us stories about how this happening at the University of Michigan Law School "when he was a 1L." I always figured this kind of thing was something that happened at other law schools and was something kids just made up to brag about how competitive their school was, but never actually really happened. But it did. I mean really... this kid is a jackass. Who does this?

Another tipster who sent along the story said:

I didn't know I could be any more embarrassed by this school, but here you go.

I mean, can anybody actually tell me of any other confirmed instance of textbook ripping that isn't immediately followed by standing on your desk and shouting "Oh Captain, my Captain"?

I think this can be attributed to extreme prestige whore-dom. I think there are a lot of people who are thrilled to be at Case Western, but this one kid has U.S. News envy. He wanted to act tough, act like he was ready for the Paper Chase, and thought this would send a message that Case Western can produce gunners of the highest caliber.

So, to this anonymous kid, I say: point taken. You've proven your gunner bona fides. Please take this commemorative hat. Yes, the one over there emblazoned with the word "Douche." You've earned it.

UPDATE: Please note that this post was written by Elie, not Lat -- who holds Case Western in the highest esteem and will be speaking there later this month, for the first annual Midwest APALSA Conference. Check out the conference schedule here, and register here.

Midwest APALSA Conference [Case Western APALSA]

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The issue appeared to be that V&E Texas associates didn't receive a "make-whole" bonus. Some firms have followed Latham & Watkins's lead and are using the bonus to give back the money that associates lost during last year's salary freeze.

A couple of days after our post went up, Above the Law started to receive some interesting emails from Vinson & Elkins people in Texas. Here's an example:

The partners realized they had screwed up and are making good by the associates, giving additional bonuses in the coming weeks. Top performers in Houston will end up making MORE than their counterparts in NY on the full Cravath scale (for the second year in a row). Pretty impressive that they are willing to admit their screw up and fix it quickly.

And it's true. Instead of sticking to a decision many associates felt was unfair, V&E changed course and put more money on the table.

Details on this reversal of fortune after the jump.

After Vinson & Elkins originally announced bonuses under its merit bonus program, I met with our Associate Advisory Committee and learned that some of our associates, primarily in Texas and Washington DC, felt our bonuses did not meet expectations given that our partners had a much better than anticipated year financially in 2009. While we felt the bonuses originally paid were fair and compensated our associates at or near the top of our respective markets we realized that expectations may have legitimately been higher and that the markets outside of New York were more opaque this year as to the competitive level of compensation. We have therefore paid supplemental bonuses in all of our offices to associates receiving merit bonuses and we believe not only have expectations been fully met but that our associates have clearly been compensated fairly in all of our markets. It remains a strategic priority of the firm that we be able to recruit, retain and develop the best lawyers practicing in each of our markets.

That is some real live good news -- and not just for associates working at Vinson & Elkins. It should be a statement to all Biglaw firms out there who are trying to be cheap about associate compensation while partners are posting strong (sometimes record) profit numbers. There are firms who are willing to pay money in order to keep and attract talented associates. As the lateral market continues to loosen up, firms that try to keep salaries depressed will not be forgotten.

Good job by V&E to do right by its people in Texas and D.C. And congratulations to those associates who are once again making market salary.

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Kirkland set the market by never freezing associate salaries in the first place. Mayer Brown finally blinked and raised salaries. Sidley is still waiting -- we're not sure why, but they are waiting.

At Jenner & Block, "merit-based" salary increases are in effect. But the raise -- at least for some people -- is nowhere near market salary. One tipster reports:

The situation is bad at Jenner Block. You should write about how cheap the firm is. A title should be something like: "PPP up 33%, Associate Bonuses 33% of Last Years." Well that is the truth. For the past two years associates who made hours have gotten 5k raises and all others have gotten zero. So, the salary scale, for those that have consistently made hours (worse if you slip a year or have a slow department), is effectively: 160k, 165k, 170k, 180k.... the more senior you get the more the gap between Jenner and the market.

And for bonuses, this year they start at 2k, even for 3rd years.

Well, $5,000 here, $5,000 there, pretty soon you're talking about real money. I'm sure if our Jenner friends just hang in there for another decade, they will be very happy with their compensation.

According to spokespersons for Jenner & Block, our tipsters are incorrectly reporting their salaries. But the firm isn't very clear on what salaries Jenner folks are actually receiving.

Details and a statement from the firm, after the jump.

As you may know, several years ago, Jenner & Block adopted a merit-based system for associate compensation. We work hard to ensure that our compensation system is fair. Salary increases were given to those who met our hours target (2000 or 1950 plus 50 pro bono) and had exceptional performance. In giving salary increases we considered and met the market in the various cities in which each of our offices is located. The scale in your email is incorrect.

With respect to bonuses, the percentage of associates receiving a bonus this year was higher than the last two years. We paid bonuses to associates who met the bonus requirement (2050 or 2000 plus 50 pro bono). As with salary increases, our bonuses are merit-based, not lockstep. Amounts ranged from $2,000 for the most junior associates to $38,000 for the more senior associates.

In a year where profits are up, a $2,000 bonus "for the most junior associates" does stand out. After taxes, what does $2,000 buy you? Some Kay Jewelry and a deep dish pizza for Valentine's Day?

At least the bonus information is clear. The salary situation is much more confusing. Tipsters who work at Jenner claim that their raise was $5,000 and Jenner doesn't deny that. Above the Law asked Jenner for further clarification about its salary scale:

[A]s we stated in our earlier email, Jenner & Block's associate compensation is merit based. We are not lockstep. We consider all elements of an associate's performance in determining compensation, including the market in the location of each of our offices.

So, there is no spoon scale? Don't even merit-based firms have a fairly standard raise they give to associates who meet expectations? And don't those raises generally match the market salaries?

As far as we can tell, not at Jenner.

But maybe we are only hearing from low-performing associates who got nailed under the merit-based system? Are there Jenner associates out there who are making market salaries? Or more?

Let us know. Or, let Sidley know. They seem to be more desperate for associate salary information than we are.

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